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Homosexual OCD (“HOCD”) is a specific subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that involves recurrent sexual obsessions and intrusive doubts about one’s sexual orientation.
Straight individuals with homosexual OCD experience obsessive fears about the possibility of being gay.
People with HOCD worry that they might secretly be gay or might become gay, despite not questioning their sexuality in the past.
Prior to the onset of HOCD, they might have had few doubts about their sexual orientation.
If you are gay, your gay thoughts will be associated with pleasure rather than with fear (although you might experience anxiety about the social repercussions of “coming out”).
If you have homosexual OCD, what-if questions about sexuality are ultimately unanswerable in the way that OCD demands they be answered.
Faulty beliefs about sexuality and sexual orientation perpetuate fear about the possible consequences of resisting OCD-related compulsions.
This is harmful because every time an unwanted thought is avoided or neutralized, it is reinforced and becomes more likely to become activated again in the future.
The common element that unites these seemingly opposite sexual obsessions is the fear of being attracted to something unwanted, taboo, or “unacceptable” based on one’s particular worldview.Their HOCD obsessions often consist of unwanted thoughts, impulses, or images that uncontrollably pop into consciousness.To reduce the anxiety brought on by their obsessions, individuals with HOCD engage in a variety of rituals that focus on “proving their true sexuality” or reducing their perceived “vulnerability” to becoming gay.Many people with homosexual OCD also have a history of having enjoyed heterosexual relationships in the past.
It was only after the first unwanted thought “popped” that they became overly concerned about the prospect of being gay.
Moreover, they continue to experience doubt and uncertainty about their sexuality.