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It starts with a decision and that decision is to choose and keep re-choosing to love instead of choosing to shame. Whether it's figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

We lose our mojo with the self-work if it doesn’t generate instant or fast results and go back to repeating what we already know doesn’t work while secretly accepting failure. Really, the only people who would truly object to us doing this, are those who feel threatened by the change because they see it as questioning world view, as well as those who seek to benefit from us staying in a less than role.

Having a healthier relationship with ourselves means our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health will reap the benefit plus we come at our relationships from a place of love, care, trust and respect.

It may be embedded in us as a default reaction to fear thinking decently of ourselves or thinking independently in case we cause embarrassment and problems.

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Even though we’re grown-ups and know that the teachings are wrong, we remain loyal to the pattern out of fear of betraying and upsetting the proverbial applecart. Sometimes this happens because the person is trying to squash us because they then get to feel big or certainly less inadequate, but often, they think that they’re teaching us protective life lessons designed to spare us from a bigger pain that they imagine for us.

When did things get so bad that being self-aware, having some self-worth and self-compassion, along with internalising our accomplishments, achievements and deeds, became a source of embarrassment and shame? We may have gotten into the habit of dimming our light to fit in with or boost others.

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