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21-Dec-2016 21:19

Since we couldn’t afford to buy the house, we had to move into this duplex, on a busy street, with only one bedroom. ” Candace wanted to know, peering around me into the house, cornering her eyes as if she could see more this way. She’ll be out when she finished,” I said, and slammed the door in her face. ” Tomika asked, coming from the back, meeting me as I turned into the kitchen. I knew if I lifted it that I would be disappointed. If I were there by myself, I would’ve cooked it but my mother was standing at the sink putting away last night’s dinner plates. ” “Me and Tomika are going to visit Shirley in San Bernardino today. ” she asked, knowing that I didn’t want to sit in the car for what would be a two-hour drive. Even though Shirley had a pool, it was boring where she lived. It took a few seconds for me to recover before I jumped and opened the door just a crack. He looked like he wanted to say something but I shut the door before he could get it out. ” Bobby wanted to know when I came from the side of the house with my bike. Just had to finish cleaning up,” I responded, looking back to see if Candace followed me at the agreed-upon time interval. “Ray kissed black Candace,” he sang again, perfecting the song. Lonnie, who liked Scottie’s younger sister, who was still older than the rest of us, was trying to hit Scottie. “Ray kissed black Candace,” Bobby sang as we rode into the yard. “What’s up Scottie,” I said from my seat on the bike. He was far more advanced than all of us in most areas, including money. This meant that they had money to go with their light skin color.When I opened the door, I was surprised to see Candace standing on the other side of the screen door. She was fat, black, and teased me that she liked me. “Your black friend.” “You black yourself,” Tomika reminded me, happy that she was yellow, but defending her friend just the same. Tomika’s ugly friend always looking at me strangely. “You better fix your face before it gets stuck that way.” I didn’t realize I was frowning as I looked into the barely stocked refrigerator. My grandfather had an affair with her over 20 years ago and somehow because they had a child together, whom he never acknowledged, Shirley has remained someone to be visited by my mother. ” It was the least she could do, knowing that she and Tomika would eat good somewhere along the way. She was just walking onto her grandmother’s steps next door when I looked back. “Naw, man.” Bobby put his hand to his mouth and steered his bike with the other. There was nothing I could do to prevent the coming humiliations. Lonnie was trying to show off in front of Loretta, who was sitting on the porch. ” Scottie asked as he made Lonnie’s head pop back with a punch. They had the kind of family where when you turned 18 years old, you didn’t have to leave home.I ducked under his punches and bounced up quick with an upper cut to his chin. They made a loud clapping sound as his head jerked back and his body followed it to the ground. A jolt of fright shot through me as I stood still, my hands weighted by the heavy boxing gloves down at my side. They each took a heavy hand in their palms and raised them like I was the champ. I didn’t want to look at her, but I couldn’t help it. There was nothing to do in here except sit in the chair and put your feet up on the table. “I’m going to miss you baby and I love you so much. ” my mother said, breaking me from my thoughts as we turned onto my grandmother’s street. All the rooms were empty, only furnished with a bed and a pair of nightstands. I was smiling when my grandmother came out of her room.

Tomika still teased me about how my mother would come home from the academy and demonstrate her new choke hold on me. We all laughed at the way my mother choked me to the ground and demanded that I give up struggling.

They all dressed like they could be going to church. “Thank you for letting Raymond stay with you for a little while,” my mother was saying. There was one of my uncle who had given me the swats. He stood in front of a chain-link fence with his arms crossed under his huge bare chest. Next to this picture was one of my father from a long time ago. His leg was high in the air, kicking at something outside of the frame. Everyone else was just a shade lighter than black, some color between mud and midnight. She smiled with an aching pain at the corners of her mouth. This made her decision to leave me here all the more pressing. Now here I was, a cub in a heartless jungle without his mother or father to protect or guide him. Sure enough, there was another car in the driveway. “Stay out of trouble,” he said, before stepping back through the door.

A brown Cadillac was parked at the curb, with shiny wire rims. “Raymond, you hear your grandmother talking to you? Her eyes glazed and a tear escaped from the corner of the filling rim of her lid. Everything he had on looked new, but dirty like they’d been worn a day too long. His young teeth had food in odd crevices and corners. Dey let him kick it cuz das Money Bags folks.” “He smokin’? It was long and black with shiny chrome rims that looked like large plates. “Nice meeting you, Raymond,” Trish said with a smile.

I sat at the kitchen table and watched the birds fly across the kitchen window, pretending that I was the man of the house. I knew they wanted me, but were just ashamed to admit it.

I suspected that something was happening that would change my life forever and I had no control over it. I could ride my bike to La Salle but I didn’t feel like it. “I was in the garage.” “Go wash your hands and get ready to eat. Run your bath water, too, and get in it right now,” she instructed. I looked for Tomika in the living room when I went to get a clean pair of underwear out of the drawer at the end of the hallway.

Having to tell me twice to take out the trash made her mad. The more she yelled, the more I acted like I didn’t hear her. I know I wasn’t helping matters, but I couldn’t help it. Smiling on the other side of the screen door was Candace. Here I was with my skinny chest bare like I had muscles. I walked back to the grass, bouncing on my toes like I was Muhammad Ali. I got angry, too, but I learned to control it and direct it at my opponent. All eyes were wide with either disbelief or a newfound realization about me. He never raised his eyes to me as he slowly untied the boxing gloves. I smiled as Bobby and Anthony bounded towards me, throwing imaginary punches meant to convey their newfound respect and admiration. “We have to go in the house for me to show you.” That’s what we ain’t gon’ do, I thought to myself as I shook my head from side to side just to let my body know that this was not going to happen. Spider webs hung from the corners and boxes of old clothes. ” I wanted to know, still not wanting to spend too much time alone with her. Maybe I didn’t tell my mother that I loved her enough. There had to be some reason why we couldn’t live together anymore. They said he had been in bed in one of these rooms—there were three upstairs—and he had put a shotgun under his chin and pulled the trigger—I don’t know which bedroom it was.



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