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This perception that comes from slavery pushes the notion that White women are sweet and docile while Black women are wild, angry and uncontrollable. There are plenty of White women on the show who kill their men out of anger, rage and jealously. If someone treats you badly, aren’t you going to react?Alternatively, have you ever seen a woman with a good man who loves and respects her? Think about the rage you feel living as a Black man in a country that has been and is systematically discriminating against and killing you and your community. If your woman caught you texting three other women after you were just telling her how much you love her and being with her, does that not warrant anger/attitude?Stop saying how much you “don’t need a man” because this doesn’t impress anyone and it’s more likely to keep you from having a good one.When a man enters your life, he’ll see what you have going on, your intelligence and your lifestyle.A good leader sets direction for the team, but doesn’t dismiss the voices of those following him.Recognize that you must gain her trust before you get her submission, and if you do something to betray her trust, you can’t be upset at her lack of desire to submit at that point. However, if you find a good man, and he shows the ability to be a good leader, let him lead.This notion comes from the age old “angry, black woman” idea.Black men have used this as a reason why they prefer the more “calm, level-headed” White woman.
They want to feel like they’re an important aspect of your life.You don’t need to throw it in his face that you can make it without him or any man.Instead, show him the places you do need him, because love, affection, companionship and sex are things you likely still want from a man. Some Black women don’t want to say how they feel lonely without a man, how they feel, out of all their success, he’s the only thing truly missing, and how they want nothing more than to give all of their love to a Black man, because, often times, if a Black woman is vulnerable and honest about those feelings, she’s called desperate by Black men. Also, while a woman shouldn’t pursue a man purely for his money, if you really want to be a provider and contribute financially to her life, you can’t turn around and get mad when an independent woman asks you to pay a bill just because “she got it.” The idea that a White woman knows how to submit and let a man lead, while a Black woman does not, is both contentious and false. Will Black women submit in the same speed and to the same type of Black men as a White woman? There’s an expectation that every man should be the leader, and his woman should submit to him.Understand that you can’t try to run a man or a relationship, or you will end up just running him away.
Doing something your man asks of you does not make you weak or powerless; it means you’re able to follow and compromise, which is something Black men want and need.
However, just because a Black woman may not need a man to be a provider, this doesn’t dismiss her need to have him as a partner.