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Later, I went through a rather public breakup, and people within the church constantly asked me what happened—not out of care or concern, it felt, but out of a desire to know the details, to be able to better decide which side to take as our community severed.If you’ve dated in the Christian circle for any length of time, you, too, probably have humorous stories as well as scars.It’s painful when you do ministry alongside someone who seems to think you have no worth because you aren’t going to be their spouse.In our obsession with the quest for marriage, we’ve forgotten to pursue friendships and nurture a Christian community to grow within.

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I didn’t see the need for everyone to find out too early on.If we push to hear every juicy detail of the latest breakup, we fulfill a need to be “in the know” at the cost of someone else’s pain.