Dating advice for black women
At the same time, though, one’s own children and their choices can test our beliefs with a force that little else can. You have to do better than “because they are” if you want him to do better than “uncomfortable feelings.” Ask him how he’d feel if a woman’s parents saw your son as an inferior match for their daughter based on his skin color alone.
Look into your husband’s heart, and see whether he has the courage to look there himself.
Please tell someone about this who is trained to help you.
National hotlines have a mercifully low barrier to entry, since they’re free and anonymous and reputable, and hearing yourself finally say it out loud will make the next time easier. Discussing this crime — call it what it is — with the hotline staff will also help you decide when and how to tell people you love. Write to Carolyn Hax in care of the Washington Post, Style Plus, 1150 15th St., NW, Washington, D.
— Anonymous Dear Anonymous: Here’s what would do far more good than harm: Stop blaming yourself.
This did not happen to you because “I allowed myself to be put in such a precarious situation,” but because you were drugged and assaulted. It was wrong and awful and a crime and you deserve care and support, not condemnation — primarily from yourself but from others, too, when you’re ready.
It’s one thing to affirm yourself squarely in an anti-Black mode predicated in an unflinching self-hatred, but to view Black women as so insignificant that they don’t deserve even the slightest defense is troubling.
Michael, 46-Year-Old Musician "Before [black women] even knew me, they said, 'How many kids you got? ' Dating outside my race, I haven't had no issues like that at all." Koro, 33-Year-Old Teacher "I've been practicing abstinence for three years—three years with no sex.
I'm looking for someone that can respect my views on this, someone that can love me for me." Bo, 28-Year-Old Business Owner "I don't date black women now because of past experiences.
The next day I woke up feeling so not like myself in every way imaginable.
I returned home and never said anything about the incident to my boyfriend of almost 10 years.
Dear Carolyn: I went on a vacation years ago with one of my closest friends and her friends.