Asian dating marriage woman post dating cheque

18-Dec-2016 09:13

Having finished my Masters degree, I’m hoping to do my Ph D next year, but this decision to further my studies has not come lightly. Have you ever thought about how strong, independent women, who are self-sufficient, self-made and self-fulfilled, can have everything they have ever wanted by themselves – with or without a man?

But a lot of people suggest I’ll be ‘too old’ to get married once I finish at 28 or 29. The idea that we have ‘sell-by-dates’ is instilled in us from an early age, but it’s a concept that is as ridiculous and untrue as it sounds.

going to make us want to get married before we are ready.

Whether we decided to get married tomorrow, next month, next year or in ten years time, that’s our decision, not yours. There are women across the world who have no choice but to get married.

‘Look, you’re almost 25 now, you don’t want to be an old bride,’ and ‘If you get any older, no one is going to want you,’ are two sentences that seem to reach fever-pitch for Asian girls like myself around this age. The modern world of dating doesn’t help matters, with an increasing amount of men on Tinder, and Muslim or South Asian dating apps such as Minder, Muzmatch or Dil Mil, wanting to move at the speed of light.

It’s as if nothing matters more than the empty space on our wedding fingers where there should be a ring. They expect a ready-made wife who is a doctor with five degrees, supermodel looks and who drives an Audi to simply stay at home when they get married, and ignore the fact that they are offering much less than what we come to the table with.

As if by automatic response, when you’re South Asian, female and in your twenties, every single person around you – from your Indian neighbour to your best friend’s mother or your second cousin thrice removed – has one single burning question and demand, to know when on earth you are going to get married.

Since turning 25, I’ve become increasingly aware of the mounting pressure to settle down, and have prepared myself for the increase in scrutiny.

He is the star of Model Files, a casting director, comedian, and self-professed "dick with opinions." He and I chatted about this subject over lunch.

’ with emphasis on the word ‘I’, as that’s what matters of course.

As a British Asian woman, I’m tired of being taught to aspire to nothing but marriage.

But what makes this situation ironic is that the concern over my singlehood comes not from family members, but from people I barely know.

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Whether it’s carefully crafted remarks such as ‘My daughter Bushra* was married at 19,’ or ‘My son Imran* is looking for a wife,’ the hints and comments are It’s not that I don’t want to get married, but it’s never been a priority for me and I refuse to put my life on hold to search for something that will happen in its own time. ’ she continues as she notices the blank, apathetic look on my face, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ she says, as if I’m a damsel in distress who needs saving from a knight in shining armour.